


war stories

by constellatory



Category: Marvel, Young Avengers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-04
Updated: 2012-07-04
Packaged: 2017-11-09 04:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/451073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constellatory/pseuds/constellatory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The fallout of war is, many times, too quiet to hear. But the silent things, the dreaming things, they hit just as hard, right where it hurts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	war stories

**Author's Note:**

> Set (mostly) after the Civil War, which, just saying, I haven't actually read. So if some details are vague, it is unfortunately intentional.
> 
> Written again for a friend. Two pieces of fanart helped inspire two of these vignettes; [this](http://www.y-gallery.net/view/430365/) and [this](http://slanted-edges.tumblr.com/post/3721260739/hatetoseeyoucry). You'll probably be able to figure out which fanart inspired which vignette.

The first time he grabs hold of Billy's wrist without thinking after finally seeing him freed from that godawful prison is also the time he learns a very important lesson. Because it's a careless gesture, casual, just meant to get Billy to slow down, but Billy does so much more than that. There's an awful cold-as-ice snap of blue-white power between them, so bright that Teddy is momentarily blinded. The next thing he's aware of is Billy holding him and apologizing over and over, _I'm so sorry Ted I didn't mean it I wasn't trying to_ , and it's all he can do to get his arms around his boyfriend and try to clear his mind and _wonder_.  
  
The lesson he learns is this: he will never know the true dark depths of what being in that prison did to Billy. And it lights a fire in his belly that never, not even months, _years_ later, goes out.  
  


* * *

Billy wakes up sometimes in the night and finds everything in a five foot radius of his body - sheets, covers, books, cords, clock, phone, clothes, whatever else - pinned to the walls and the ceiling. As far from his body as he can get all of it without actually launching it all through his roof. Every time he wakes up with a cold dread sweat on his forehead, and it takes him a moment to remember.

In those moments he feels like such an idiot, and every single time he curls up and rests his head on his knees and breathes, slow and quiet. It'll probably keep happening, he figures, as long as that deep down relief (that there is absolutely nothing nearby that could bind him, tie him, hold him and keep him and _shackle and deafen and blind_ ) is there, quiet and unhappy and grateful and eternally just a little scared.

It doesn't happen so much when Teddy's around.

* * *

It was the waiting that was hardest. Interminable nights, endless days, seemingly infinite meetings and forays and battles without real progress towards the goal he held in his heart. At least, that's what it felt like.

Teddy tried real had to keep a brave face. Because what else could he do? He was a superhero, and in a time of crisis he had to live up to the title. He couldn't just go rushing off, following his heart and his whims and throwing everything else to the wind.

Of course, thinking that way just reminded him of what he'd lost and made the missing worse.

In quiet moments, in dark and frustrated moments, it was all he could do to bow his head against the pain that was ripping his heart wide open right in his chest. He tried not to think about it, most times. And he did just fine with it, getting by so well it was almost like nothing was wrong. But other times all he could see was the look in Billy's eyes, hear the tremor in his voice, as they were escaping the Warden. He had felt it almost viscerally, what Billy must have been going through. This was so much more terrible, made all the worse for the _not knowing_.

One time Kate pointed out to him, in a way that was quiet and understanding and uncharacteristically careful, that he had actually gone quite a weird shade of blue. It was so maudlin that he actually managed a laugh, weak though it was. Kate didn't ask. She didn't have to.

He never told anyone about the picture he kept on him at all times, especially not Billy. No one needed to know, ever, just how tear-stained it became.

* * *

Billy finds it anyway. Months later, sticking out of an inconspicuous pocket of an inconspicuous hoodie. It's a good thing Teddy's passed out, because Billy spends a solid hour sitting there and staring at it, feeling very ill and very loved.

A few days later, when Teddy goes absentmindedly searching for it, he discovers a new photo, instead. A more recent one, clean, and Billy looks happy in it.

The inscription on the back reads: _It looked like it could use replacing. Hope you don't mind. Love you_.

* * *

Out of the blue, one day, Billy holds a hand up to his ear and makes an off-hand comment about considering piercings. This gets a surprised Teddy to look up, as Billy had never before, not once, mentioned wanting anything like it. In fact, he'd always used to tease Teddy about how his ears were more metal than skin. (Not that he minded.)

It's the look on Billy's face that tells the real story. Which is to say there _is_ no look. Billy's expression is eerily empty as his fingers play over the shell of his ear, brushing over the many, many scars from cuts and punctures and what Teddy sometimes thinks look hideously like burns.

At the time, Teddy doesn't say much. Just joins Billy on the couch and takes his hands away from his ears and grips them instead, until the moment becomes too intense and awkward for either of them to bear and a halting conversation moves elsewhere.

The next day, Teddy shows up with a small black bag in hand. When pressed, he reaches inside and pulls out two jewelry boxes. Inside each is a pair of gold cuffs. No piercing, no punctures, no needles or plastic gloves required. They slip right on over the rims of Billy's ears with no pain at all.

The way Billy kisses him after makes him feel just a little proud of himself.


End file.
